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Couples Therapy

Do you and your partner have:

  • Trust
  • Mutual Respect
  • Open Communication
  • Do you help each other to grow?
  • Support each other in pursuing fulfillment?
  • Can you count on each other during tough times and illness
  • Is your relationship a safe place?
  • Do you communicate effectively?

Couples Therapy: it can help with...

  • Sex
  • Marriage
  • Children
  • Work
  • Extended family
  • Friends

Tips for Couples

  • VALIDATE 
    your partner's feelings even if you do not agree with them: “I hear that you are feeling sad/ angry/ upset, etc....

  • OFFER SUPPORT 
    This means empathy and listening. If your partner is talking about a tough time with another person or situation, be careful not to give suggestions or feedback other than support unless you ask first: “I hear are having a hard time with ------, if you want my feedback or my suggestions at some point let me know."

  • POSTPONE CONVERSATION UNTIL YOU HAVE ENERGY AND PATIENCE: 
    If you yourself are cranky or need support, tell your partner that you could listen better later. Do not try or expect to solve their problem, sometimes people figure out what they need to do just by talking it through. Be honored that they trust you enough to share their vulnerable feelings with you.

  • BE DIRECT WITH WHAT YOU WANT FROM YOUR PARTNER. 
    Unfortunately, (or perhaps fortunately) your partner cannot read your mind. If you are having trouble being direct consider why. Do you have a childhood history of being told your feelings or wishes were wrong? Were you not listened to as a child? Was there much conflict in your family? Were family members direct with each other?

  • CONSIDER WHY YOUR PARTNER’S BEHAVIOR BOTHERS YOU. 
    Is his/her behavior actually reasonable or not truly problematic? If if is not truly problematic, are you more easily made impatient or irritated or upset right now? Consider why.

  • CONSIDER YOUR PARTNER’S NEEDS. 
    What are they saying they need and want right now? Clarify and ask for specifics. Negotiate a compromise if necessary. Then follow through.